U2 Took My Picture

... and I look rather bored.

STEVE JOBS!

2 posts in 1 day, wow... but this is important. Steve Jobs just resigned.

See, in my office, we like to bet on things. We do Fantasy Football, which I don't partake in because there's too much work involved, Academy Award pools, random "how far can I fling the rubber band" bets, and my favorite, the Celebrity Death Pool. I invented this one and am therefor it's commissionaire.

The rules are, each persons roster is due by Jan 18th. No one who dies before the 18th counts. You pick 10 people who are well-known figures, celebrities, political people, athletes. They don't have to be a house hold name, but they do have to have accomplished something of note. The younger the person, the more points you get, and you have to pick someone under 100 because the points are awarded at 100 - age at death. Anyone over 100 when they died would get you negative points. I suppose you can pick someone, but you'd be stupid.

The first year we did it, only 1 person called anyone, Charlton Heston, 84. Not very exciting. But the next year I was the F'n Grim Reaper! Take a look at this:

I'm MoOD, with 161 points! The next closest is Super G. with 95, then Sensenmen with 38 and Kill the Kitty with 26. No one even got close! Needless to say, it was a lot to live up to. The following year I had a lot of people, but they were older. My boss had only 1, but it was Corey Haim so he beat me by 2 points. 

This year we all took Amy Winehouse off our lists, stupidly - she was 27. BUT, I have Steve Jobs, he's 55... and has pancreatic cancer. Not to be cruel, but resigning at 55 is an odd move unless you think you aren't going to pull through... so I might be back. 

Just Because

I've been feeling pretty crumby lately. It's for many reasons, but the only real tangible one I over-focus on so I have an excuse for moping. I keep starting all these long posts about how I can't get over someone, not because I want to get back together (he's a jerk), but because I'm better than him (goddess complex- I know that seems rather odd considering my actual self image, what can I say? I'm a conundrum). Not saying I don't miss things, but the reality is, even though I left him, I think he won the break-up, and it's killing me. I just can't move on. Maybe at some point I'll figure all that crap out and write a legitimate post, or not, maybe it'll always just sound whiny, but for now, to cheer myself up, I drew "Stan." That always makes me feel better. He isn't doing anything particularly funny today, just walking back and forth, but he's comical enough as is.

Discrepancy

I've noticed a very strong discrepancy in how I present myself to the world

and how I actually feel.

That's not to say I wander around faking that the glass half full... I'm more of a 'kick the fucking glass over before it shatters IN YO' FACE!' kind of person, so I suppose that's consistent. However, I do tend to act cheerful, even if I'm talking about why I'm sad. Because of this, people don't really understand why I sometimes freak out or go into hibernation. They take it personally... which, of course, just makes it worse.

A Better Human Being

So, I have an over-inflated anger problem, a love of debate... and perhaps a goddess complex. These things do not mix so well with techy-things such as e-Mail and Facebook... and sometimes texts, although I think everyone lies. You can TOTALLY tell the true tone of text. And when people say things like:

They're lying, they were being snarky. Texting something unclassifiable is a passive way of being a bitch when you don't know if you have a legitimate reason to be.

I am a mad culprit of being that jerk who lies about the texting.

But in my defense! Normally it's because I'm mad, but I don't want to fight. I'm just feeling bitchy and want to be a bitch without having to excuse it later on. So I say something that can be misconstrued either way and then I feel better, because I said it, but I can always take it back and be like, Nope! I was just being cute ;D

This is why I do not use emoticons when I'm being 'sarcastic'.

That being said, I was NOT being a bitch on the text that made me think of this, I really was just joking around... honest... really.... but the e-Mail it lead to... well, that's another story.

I have a new goal... no more writing Jesus jokes on peoples religious posts, no more devil's advocate on political posts. No more badgering the other side just to do it. AND! No more replying to e-Mails that make me mad at the time I read them!!! This is a big deal. NO MORE!

From now on I will write the crazed e-mail. Yes, I am perfect and wonderful and all those jabs and insults are totally valid, but maybe this argument isn't going anywhere. I could list out all your flaws, your nasty habits, your pathetic abilities in bed or horrific singing voice. Your truly disgusting toes or the awful way you flap your feet when you walk. Maybe when you talk you sound like nails on a chalkboard, or don't know the capital of the state you live in. Perhaps all of this and more could be true about you, but until I've calmed down and logically decided it betters my life to point them out to you via e-Mail... I am going to SAVE AS DRAFT because this will make me a better human being.







Who am I kidding?

My Cats Love Me

I know because they told me so this morning.

My Morning Commute...

It's no wonder I started drinking coffee after I moved to LA.

Desk Walker...

This is "Scotty." He's about 67 maybe, has a 33 year old girlfriend who looks like the bastard child of Peter Pan and Harry Potter... more on that later. Anyhooooo, "Scotty" likes to find excuses to walk by my desk. Depending on the shirt I'm wearing, I have about 10-45 minutes between passes.

Today, around 2pm, he farted...

By the way, my desk isn't that clean and yes, that's a kilt... he only wears it on special occasions, though.

Zed's Dead, Baby

Let's call him "Stan" for safety sake. He's a "guy" I work with. He has hated me from, pretty much, the moment I walked through the door. Still not completely sure what I did, other than be female, which has been a rather large problem in my office in general, but that'll come clear over time.

Most Mondays we have an office meeting where we talk about all the projects going on. It's dull, to put it politely, and rather long. To get through it, and to let out enough steam to get me through the week, I began killing "Stan" in fun ways. Sadly, much of those drawings have been lost. Eventually the drawings morphed to be more realistic as "Stan", it turns out, is a rather comical figure. The things he says and situations he places himself hardly seem real, but I assure you, they are. I've been at this place for about 4.5 years now and so have accumulated a fair number of sketches. I started making a strong effort to preserve them when other people in the office started telling me they were appreciated.

"Stan" also seems to have some form of narcolepsy, only it's not actually narcolepsy, he just falls asleep. We did some research and think it has to do with the fact that when he sits he restricts oxygen from his brain and passes out, but we can't be sure. Either way, he does it all the time, and sometimes the accompanied snores can't be ignored!

 After returning from a 2 week vacation from the location he plans to retire to, "Stan" said this lovely quote in response to the office manager listing off who would be gone when over the next month.

I have more that I'll post eventually. People seem to enjoy them. (By the way, I swear that's what he looks like...)

In the beginning...

Blog. Such an odd word... how does one start one of these things? When I was little and I was starting a new Diary, or Journal, rather, because I was cool and diaries were for babies, I would do something like this:

Hi, my name is Chelsea Ree Barton King.
I'm 29 years old.
I live in North Hollywood, CA.
My favorite color is olive green, or maybe maroon or mustard... or blue, I like blue a lot.
My favorite dessert is Creme Brulee (note to self, must learn how to make an accent on my computer...)
My favorite TV show, currently, is Doctor Who.
My favorite band is Guster.
I have the biggest crush on...

Dammit, that one doesn't seem to apply anymore. For some reason that makes me really sad. I mean, I could say Neil Gaiman, but he went back to Scientology and got all douchey and his writing kind of sucks now, David Duchovny is a jerk... Nathan Fillion, David Tennent or Matt Smith? Yah, I love them... but it doesn't feel the same - cut to me making an ass out of myself in front of any one of them, most likely Nathan Fillion, I tend to do that a lot. NATHAN FILLION! I feel better now :)

Right now I'm making Roasted Pepper Soup because I am being responsible and using up all the veggies I bought 2 weeks ago with wonderful intent, then left in my fridge with a bowl of 6-month old, fuzzy red J-ello... and beer. I haven't looked at anything but the peppers yet. I'm hoping the rest of the veggies didn't get fuzzy too, that would be sad. But the main reason is because I can tell Brian Krackow is about to UN-invite Delia to the dance and I can't handle the awkwardness. They're standing in front of the fast food burger place where she works. I kept yelling at the screen, so I thought it best to step away. I didn't watch My So-Called Life when it was on the air because I was paid a dollar a day to NOT watch TV and the 1 hour per week respite I was offered was saved for The X-Files, of course.

I like this show, but it's taking me a very long time to get through each episode because I keep pausing it at the awkward parts and squirming and finding excuses to do other things, like go the bathroom, make soup or start a blog. How the hell did I ever sit still and watch TV as a child?